knew, deep down, that he should wait until a little bit of
time had passed before taking some time off from the job.
But he wanted things settled between himself and Samantha
well before the kid was born. If she wasn't going to be
agreeable to working things out long distance, then he was
just going to have to force the issue with her. Two days
after the exchanging of texts that got him nowhere, Nick was
boarding a flight to Florida. He didn't try contacting
Samantha to inform her of his plans, Nick just booked a
flight, planning on showing up at her door. In his mind,
she'd have to talk to him then. Discuss and work everything
out where his kid was concerned.
Travel bag in hand, he had made reservations at a local
hotel, but Nick wanted to talk to the woman first. Catch her
unexpectedly before she might be able to find out he was in
town. Knocking on the door of her apartment, Nick took a
step back to wait for the door to be opened. He had managed
to sneak into the building along with one of the residents,
which was lucky for him as he knew that if he announced
himself at the door, Samantha would not buzz him up. With
other attempts of trying to talk with her failing, Nick was
of the opinion that this was his last option.
knock at her front door was certainly not something that was
expected. Sure, her brother and his wife would come around
every so often, but for the most part not a lot of people
knew where she was. She needed a break from everything that
was New York, and sadly that included the people. There was
too much for her to do, and too much for her to worry about.
She already had one pregnancy that ended badly, and the last
thing she wanted was another. She was intent on making this
one as stress free as possible, and she knew that would
never happen if she was still at home -- between her job,
and Nick, and all the questions she knew would come when
people found out who the father was, she just couldn't do
Part of her felt guilty that she was keeping that from Nick,
he was after all her child's father, but in the long run she
knew that she was doing them both a favor. She needed to
move on with her life, and so did he. Even if he wanted to
be a part of the baby's life, she knew he didn't want
anything to do with her. They were never friends, and short
of sleeping with the other, they never got along either. She
knew all of that would be very hard to ignore when it came
time to caring for a baby. Maybe later on that was something
they could work through, but it wasn't something she wanted
to think of at the moment. She'd been so intent on proving
to him that he'd been wrong, and if she told him the baby
was his, that it was, that she completely ignored what could
happen when he got that proof.. and now there they were. She
knew she made a mistake, and she should have waited until
after the baby was born.
Turning off the TV, she reluctantly pushed herself off the
couch and made her way to the front door. She'd passed on
seeing her brother earlier that day, and she really hoped he
wasn't trying to drag her out by coming to see her instead.
Not bothering to look at who it was, almost positive that it
would be him, she opened the door. "I already told you ---"
she started, only to stop herself short when she saw who it
really was. It was certainly not someone she had expected to
see. Turning around once more, she made her way back to her
previous position on the couch. She had so much to do, she
really didn't have the time or energy to deal with what she
knew was coming, but she also knew it would be pointless to
even try. Pushing her hair out of her face, she turned to
look at Nick with a shake of her head. "What are.. " Sighing
softly, she changed her question, "How did you find me?".
started getting a bit antsy when the door didn't immediately
open to him. Glancing at his watch, then down the length of
the hallway, Nick was starting to reconsider his decision in
coming all the way here. Was he pushing it too hard and
fast, being insistent with wanting to be part of his kid's
life. The child hadn't been born yet, so maybe he should be
giving Samantha that little bit of space she was demanding.
All those thoughts, though, were vanquished the moment the
door was opened.
Hearing her voice before actually seeing her, his eyes shot
to the door as it was opened. "And hello to you too,
Samantha." He grumbled under his breath, when the woman
turned away from the door, back into her apartment. "If
you're going to try and hide from someone, you should learn
to do a better job at it." He said, walking into the place,
closing the door behind him. "You're looking good." He
offered then, making his way over to the living area of the
apartment. It probably wouldn't do him any good, Nick most
likely wasting his breath on trying to be friendly, but at
least an attempt was being made..
was too exhausted to actually fight with him. She didn't
want to fight with him. When she came to Florida she did it
in the hopes she'd be able to leave everything behind and
not have to think about it until after the baby was born. It
might have been selfish of her, and deep down she knew that
it was, but she was terrified of the way things could go if
she didn't put a distance between all her problems back in
New York. "I wasn't hiding.." She said in a tone she knew he
wasn't used to hearing from her. It was calm, and almost
resigned to the fact that she was going to have to face
everything she was trying so hard to avoid. "Now I'm
thinking I should have taken my brothers offer.." She
laughed a little at her current situation.
Turning back to look at Nick, who had finally made his way
into her apartment, she gave him a small shrug of her
shoulders. She wasn't really angry at him, not anymore.
Truthfully, she didn't even know what she felt at the
moment. Somehow that scared her more than being angry. She'd
had time to think, and process everything.. so many memories
and feelings from years before coming back to hit her in the
face. She couldn't go back to New York; she couldn't go
through having to face her friends back home.. especially
the ones she'd made when she was still with the NYPD. They
knew what she'd gone through, and they knew why she'd left..
and she was sure they'd worked with him at some point or
other as well. Those questions and comments she couldn't
face just yet.. even if they were only meant as a joke.
Shaking all those thoughts from her head, not quite wanting
to relive any of them while he was sitting there with her,
she let out a breath, biting down on her lip. Turning her
attention back to him, she was at a loss as to what to say.
There was so much to say that she didn't know where to
start. "So.." She attempted, but failed miserably at
starting what she knew they had to talk about. Instead, she
simply said, "I guess the results weren't what you expected,
felt a bit awkward to him to actually be there with neither
of them hurling harsh words at each other. That had really
become their custom back in New York, when they weren't
hitting the sheets. Now it seemed like they might actually
be able to have a civilized conversation. "I'm sure your
brother would have loved me showing up at his door." He
mused with a slight smirk as Nick drew a mental picture of
Leaving his bag just inside the door, Nick paced the room a
moment, deciding not to take a seat on one of the pieces of
furniture, but rather he walked over to the window to cast a
glance out it. "I was really sure it wasn't mine. Actually
convinced myself that the kid you're carrying didn't have a
drop of my blood." Nick admitted in that moment. "I'm still
having a hard time digesting it all, but that's of no
consequence now." His gaze turned away from the window, Nick
now looking over in Samantha's direction. "He's my kid, Sam.
And I'll be damned if I let you cut me out of his life." He
directed at her, not in a harsh or angered tone, but eerily
an even, calm one. "We've got to figure this all out, before
the kid is born."
the first time since she could remember, Samantha laughed an
actual real laugh, the humor of that scenario not lost on
her. "Yeah.." Her brother would have been thrilled . Shaking
her head of that thought, she brought herself back to the
matter at hand, watching him as he made his way across the
"I'm not going to say that you're wrong.. Hell, Nick.. I
can't say that you're wrong. I know we have to figure this
out." Pushing her hair out of her face, she looked over in
the direction of the window where he currently stood. She
spent too many nights since she first got to Florida looking
out that window, just thinking about what she should do.
Apparently he was trying to do the same. She honestly
couldn't say she ever got an answer, though. They couldn't
pretend there was nothing going on, but at the same time,
they were hardly ever capable of being in the same room
without starting a fight.
Part of her wanted him to yell, scream.. do anything that
would remind her of why she left, and why this was all a bad
idea. It was easier to be angry and not have to face
anything than to have a calm Nick in front of her who was
actually trying to talk. "I know it wasn't fair of me to try
and cut you out.." She admitted, even though it felt like
someone just punched her in the stomach with how hard it was
for her to get those words out. "..I just didn't think it
would make a difference what the results were.." While that
wasn't 100 percent true, she really didn't think he'd try so
hard to try and get them to talk about their situation. As
hard as she tried to stay angry at him, she just couldn't.
She hadn't made it easy for him, though, and she knew that
was her fault, but once her defenses had been put up it was
very hard for her to change her mind. The fact that he was
there in front of her, that made it different. She was in a
different state of mind than she'd been the last time she
saw him, and she couldn't just ignore him anymore. "So, what
do you want to do Nick..?" She asked, trying to at least
reach some kind of truce.
want you to come back to New York." He told her in all
honesty. He wasn't asking her to move in, to live with him
until the child was born, and then afterward. That was
asking too much in his mind. Of both of them. They both had
to make concessions now, with a new life soon to be brought
into the world, and their lives. "Living thousands of miles
about is just not going to cut it." He wanted to be an
integral part of the child's life. And that would not happen
if he lived in New York and Samantha lived in Florida with
"We can work something out, whatever might be best for the
kid, but that will only happen back in New York." He tried
to rationalize to her. "I know I can be an ass most of the
time, but I really want this to work. I'm willing to make
the effort for the kid." It was only then that Nick worked
his way over to the couch, sitting down then with a little
bit of space separating them, looking over to her then.
"It's not going to be easy," of that he was certain,
especially considering the type of relationship they had had
in the past, "but it's worth a try, don't you think. For the
kid's sake." He said, hoping Samantha would agree with him,
or at least admit that she'd take it all into consideration.
nodded her head, listening to him talk. He sounded like a
different person, and she wasn't sure if she was nodding her
head in agreement or simply acknowledging the fact that she
was listening to him. "Why do you have to make sense, Nick?"
She didn't want to go back to New York, at least part of her
didn't.. In a way she did, everything she knew was there,
but at the same time, all the bad memories and the people
that reminded her of them were still there. It was different
to bump into someone from a life so long ago when you didn't
have a pregnancy being thrown in their face. Not that she
needed to explain it to them, she was an adult after all and
fully within her rights to do as she pleased.. but, if she
was honest, she felt guilty about it.
"It's hard to explain.." She let her head fall back against
the couch, her eyes coming closed as she tried to make sense
of all the thoughts going through her mind. "I'm being a
chicken shit, truththfully.." She finally admitted to him,
not sure if it would even make sense if she said it out
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to have to see someone
on an almost daily basis and not be able to forget just how
royally you screwed up their lives and yours...?" If she was
being honest, she might as well be completely truthful about
why she was so against going back, at least for the time
"I was engaged once, and pregnant.. and that all went to
shit because I always put the NYPD before myself.. now I get
to see him everyday in the hospital when I take someone in..
do you have any idea how what that's going to be like now
that I'm pregnant?" There. She'd said it.. it wasn't
something she ever imagined telling him, but she was
emotionally tired, and she needed that out of her system.
Changing the topic, she opened her eyes, tilting her head to
the side to better get a look at him. "The baby is a he, by
the way.. found out a few days ago."
sat there, listening to what Samantha had to say. Hands
clasped together as his arms rested on his legs, his gaze
focused down toward the floor at his feet. Being truthful to
himself, Nick had no idea what the woman's past experience
might have been like, though he did try, silently,
sympathizing with her.
"Honestly? No I don't know what all this will be like for
you. But don't you think it's worth trying to make this work
for the kid's sake." Nick glancing over the woman's way as
he spoke. "I'm not asking you to move in, or anything. Just
come back so we can both be part of our child's life." Maybe
as things progressed he might offer the option of them
living together to form a little family unit for the kid,
but right now, that wasn't much of a thought to him.
"A boy? Wow." He responded with a faint smile. That kind of
made the whole situation a little bit better. He would have
welcomed and loved a little girl, but a son. That little
fact made him a little bit happier. "I'm really going to be
a father." He stated, as if he were really fully accepting
all that in that moment.
had been so focused on doing this thing on her own, that she
really had never even contemplated the idea of what it would
be like if somebody else were involved. He was right, she
didn't think she'd be telling him that just yet, but she
knew he was. Their current situation had nothing to do with
just them, or the way they felt about the other. There was a
bigger picture that needed to be looked at, and he seemed to
be more focused on it than she did.
Pushing herself off the couch, she made her way over to the
sliding glass door at the other end of the room. It was
beautiful outside, but she did miss New York. She loved her
brother, and she was glad she'd gotten the chance to see him
again after so long, but deep down she knew that wasn't her
home. "I guess I just still feel guilty.." She shrugged her
shoulders, her eyes focusing on the children playing
outside. "We can't make it work like this... I know."
Laughing a little at the idea of them living together, she
turned back to look at him, leaning back against the wall as
she did so. She was certainly glad that wasn't something
he'd suggested. Granted, it would be easier for the child,
and yes, they were being civil toward the other -- something
she wasn't quite sure how to take -- but, she knew that
wouldn't be an arrangement they could pull off.. not given
their history. Not at the moment, anyway.
"Yeah.." She added, almost in a whisper. "It almost makes it
more real, doesn't it? She continued. It certainly had for
her. It was different when it was just an idea, but when it
was something you could imagine more clearly, there really
was no avoiding it anymore. "Definitely going to be a
father, Nick.. whether we're ready for it or not.."
watched her, silently, when Samantha uprooted herself from
the couch, and then when she wandered over toward the
rolling glass door on the opposite side of the room. Their
past relationship had been a disaster. The only thing that
had been good about, great in fact if Nick was pressed on
it, was the sex.
Living together was not an option. He knew that. They hadn't
been able to manage that in the past with the relationship
they had had, and Nick felt it would be recycled in the
present if they attempted to make a try at it. There'd be
constant fighting and bickering, something he was well
acquainted with from their past, and that wouldn't be good
for the kid. But at least with them both living in the same
city, the kid would have two parents who would be an active
part of his life.
"It still kind of just sinking in, Sam." He admitted to the
woman who was carrying his child. His son. "So I'd be lying
if I tried convincing you I was ready for all this. I'm not,
but that doesn't mean I'm not going to be the best father I
can to this kid of ours."
wasn't about just her any longer. She had a son to think
about, and as odd as it sounded, there was someone else who
wanted to be a part of that kids life. If she'd had a say in
things that might not have been the way things would have
happened, but she had to make the best of it.. her child's
well being depended on it. She knew what it was like to grow
up without a mother, she didn't want her child to grow up
without a father in his life -- however odd her relationship
with him might be.
"You're right..." She said, moving back from the glass door
and toward the couch where Nick sat. They only had a few
months to figure things out, and the longer she stalled the
harder it would be for them later on. "It wouldn't be fair
for our son to have to grow up with only one parent.. not
when you're trying to be a part of his life." It would be
different if she had no option, but she couldn't lie to
herself, and she certainly couldn't tell her child she'd
chosen to keep his father out of his life -- whatever her
relationship with him was like shouldn't be as important as
giving their son as normal a life as possible.
"I do miss New York..." She said, caving without really
saying so. She knew she had to go home; she couldn't really
hide out in Florida. Sooner or later she would have to face
Looking over at Nick from her new position on the couch, she
gave him a small smile, an actual real smile -- one that she
wasnt used to be directing at him. That "meeting" of theirs
was certainly not going the way that she'd expected it. "I
can't lie Nick, I'm not used to the idea of it either.. I
should be, but I'm not.." She would be lying if she said she
was used to the idea of being pregnant, with his child much
less. Granted, she'd had more time to get used to it --
she'd been the one going through the pregnancy itself,
feeling everything, but a baby was not something she'd
planned for at that point of her life. "This baby needs to
grow up with as normal a family as possible.. even if that
is us.. whatever us is.." She knew he was right -- she
needed to go back home. It was something she needed to do
for all of them.
definitely not going to be the traditional family." Nick
voiced, finding himself in agreement with Samantha
assessment of how their life would be with a child to raise
between them. "But he will have two parents in his life."
Not the picture perfect family unit, but at least both
parents involved were willing to compromise on things for
the benefit of their yet-to-be-born child.
Nick pushed up from the couch then, with a bit of
reluctance, to stand. "Thanks for not slamming the door on
me when I showed up unannounced." He offered in gratitude to
the mother-to-be. She could have done exactly that when she
opened the door to him, but thankfully she hadn't. They
might not have been able to work things out if Samantha had
done that. "I'll be in town until tomorrow morning." He told
her then, mentioning the name of the hotel he was registered
at for the night. He might be of the opinion that there was
not much more to discuss at the moment, but he wanted the
woman to know that he'd be available until the next morning
if Samantha decided she had more she wanted to talk with him
I thought about it.." She admitted. She really had, but
where was that going to get her? Another fight? They had so
many of those, and nothing ever got accomplished. While she
had not been looking forward to talking to him, she was glad
they had gotten it out of the way. In all reality, she knew
if he hadn't shown up at her door, they never would have
worked anything out. She was nothing if not stubborn, and
she knew she would have never seeked him out again.
"Honestly, I never expected you to show up here.. as weird
as it sounds, though, I'm glad you did.." She knew her son
would need a father, and she had to give him credit, he was
at least trying. "..most people wouldn't have.."
Oddly enough, and unlike their last visit, She wasn't
rushing him to go. In fact, she didn't mind him being there.
"Okay.. I'll give you a call if anything.. if not, I'll see
you soon-ish.." It was weird with them -- they had bad days
or really good days, she hoped that day was an indication
they could find a happy medium.. one where they could at
least get along without finding themelves hitting the
sheets. "I'll go back.. it might just take me an extra
second.". She laughed a little as she watched him get up
again, not in any hurry to push him put the door. "I'm not
quite looking forward to that drive.. I didn't think I'd
have to make it again.." She'd had no plans to go back home
before, but now it was different. "Gotta talk to the chief..
hopefully my job is still there.." She added, wondering how
long she'd really be able to stay on the job.
be truthful, I never thought I'd be flying all the way out
here to try and talk to you." It was the last time they
exchanged texts that Nick found himself finally manning up
to everything. Samantha had not gotten pregnant all on her
own. Half that responsibility fell upon him.
"You need any help moving back into the city, give me a
call. Okay." He offered to the mother of his soon-to-be born
son. Hopefully they would be able to reach some kind of
happy medium before the kid was born. Have more then just a
semblance of a civilized relationship. "I think he'll more
then welcome you back." He said, trying to be positive for
her. While they hadn't always gotten along on a personal
level, Nick had always been of the thought that Samantha was
good at the job she did.
"Thanks for not slamming the door in my face, Sam." Nick
offered to her, before he turned to make his way over to the
door. Hopefully further interactions between them would
mirror this visit. That they could talk rationally without
throwing harsh, hurting words back and forth at each other.
the door in your face wasn't going to get us anywhere.." She
shrugged her shoulders, not quite sure what else to say to
him. That really had been the reason why she hadn't done so
-- it really wouldn't have gotten them anywhere but back at
square one. Since she first found out she was pregnant, and
once he'd gotten the proof he wanted that he was the father,
that really was the only time they'd made any progress. Her
pride and her temper weren't going to be of much use there,
and if she didn't push them to the side then, she knew she
never would. "It was only fair, I suppose.. you did come all
the way down here."
He really had surprised her when he showed up at her door.
She wasn't quite sure yet if it was a good surprise or not,
but at least they'd gotten a few things out of the way and
had actually acted like two adults who were in that
situation together. "If we're being honest..? I figured you
would have dropped the whole thing after our last
conversation.. I never expected to see you again, really."
It had been selfish on her part, but she really had believed
that was what he wanted, and she wasn't the type of person
to push a baby on someone -- much less one to ask for help
when she was capable of doing it on her own. "I'm glad I
didn't.. at least we found out we're capable of talking
without you calling me a bitch or me calling you an
asshole.." She laughed a little of that, thinking back on
more than a few of their conversations. They'd never really
tried being nice to one another.
"I hope so.. I love that job as much as I did being a cop
once upon a time.." She paused for a second, thinking back
on how much she missed it at times, but how hard it would be
for her to ever do it again. ".. ask my old partner.. I was
an idiot.. I pretty much lived there." She continued as she
followed him toward the door. They could do this.. or at
least, she hoped they could. "I think I'd be bored stupid if
I didn't have my job to go back to.." Everyone back the
station knew she had a tendency to act rashly at times; they
knew just as easily as she'd left she'd want to come back
again. Her boss had given her that time to figure things
out, and she was sure if she asked, it really wouldn't be a
"I should be fine, but yeah.. I guess I can give you a call
if I need the help." She wasn't sure if she was ready to do
that just yet, but she at least appreciated the offer. "I
guess I can put you to work.." She laughed, somewhat making
light of the situation. She was definitely seeing a side of
him that she wasn't used to, and she knew she'd have to meet
him halfway if they wanted to make it work. "I might be able
to do that."
debated with myself for a whole two minutes before deciding
to make the trip out here." Nick admitted to her then.
Before, the baby had been just that to him. A baby that
Samantha was caring. A baby he was sure, or at least had
convinced himself, had been sired by another man. Due to
their past history, Nick just wasn't wanting to take on that
kind of responsibility. When it had been confirmed that the
child was indeed his, that way of thinking had changed for
him. "Well... " he started with a bit of hesitancy, and a
brief run of a hand through his hair, giving the woman a bit
of a sheepish smile, "I am an asshole, some of the time."
Nick not afraid to admit that to Samantha. It was one thing
she knew all too well about him.
"Most cops are married to the job, Sam." He pointed out to
her as he walked toward the door. He was a prime example of
that. Nick spent most of his days at the station, and very
little time in his own apartment. He had almost forgotten
what 'free time' was, or felt like. And he could sympathize
with her on being lost without having 'the job' to go to on
a daily basis.
Nick listened to what Samantha was saying, as he reached for
the door handle, opening the door then, but not yet stepping
out into the hallway. "I mean it, Sam. You need anything,
you call me." He said in all seriousness, even though it had
registered with him that the woman was trying to make light
of things. "I'll talk to you soon." Hopefully. He thought as
he stepped out into the hallway.
whole two minute debate, huh?.. I've had a harder time
picking out shoes.." She joked, the stress of the whole
situation melting out of her body. There was still some
there, but not as bad as it had been when she first got to
Florida, and certainly not as bad as it had been when she'd
first found out she was pregnant. For the first time ever
she was actually grateful that he had ignored what she'd
asked of him.
Smiling a little at his admittance of being an asshole at
times, she couldn't help but laugh. They both knew that was
what their relationship was like -- it was as if they
enjoyed pissing the other one off.
"Oh, I know.. I was actually married and having an affair
with it at the same time." It was something she had come to
accept about herself -- she was a workaholic, there was no
changing that. Even then, as a medic, she found herself
spending the majority of her time at work. She knew she
would have to change that once the baby was born, but she
also knew herself, and she knew she'd be working as far into
the pregnancy as was physically possible. Unless she was
told otherwise by her doctors, she'd probably be on the job
until the baby was born.
Leaning against the door as he walked out, she smiled a
little, giving him a small nod. "I will.. I'll let you know
once I'm back in New York." Closing the door behind her, she
let out a small sigh of relief, glad things had not turned
out the way she'd played out that day in her mind. He was
proving her wrong, and she for once, was glad.